Grief Support

Feeling sad after the death of a loved one is normal, but when symptoms of grief persist, you may need grief counseling to help you progress

Many factors can shape the way you react to the death of a loved one, such as your relationship to the deceased, your religious beliefs, and your previous experiences with death. Most people are able to work through the acute stages of grief within the first year. But others struggle and the sorrow lingers, even if they have a solid support system.

If your symptoms of bereavement persist over an extended period of time, dominate your thoughts, and interfere with daily tasks, you’re experiencing complicated grief. It may be time to consider a more formal intervention, such as a grief support group or grief counseling so you can ensure your emotional well-being.

Recognizing you should seek grief counseling

Most people who’ve lost a loved one will benefit from talking with a qualified grief counselor, but if you’re experiencing severe emotional distress, grief counseling could be imperative. How can you tell if you need professional support? Here are 13 signs that indicate you should seek grief counseling:
‍

You’re having suicidal thoughts and/or persistent feelings of depression.
You’re experiencing ongoing symptoms of distress, such as crying, insomnia, loss of appetite, increased irritability and anger, or panic attacks.
You’re struggling to complete everyday tasks, including basic self-care.
You can’t believe that your loved one is really dead.
You frequent familiar places, hoping to see your departed loved one there, or avoid locations and situations that may remind you of your loss.
You’re abusing substances, like alcohol or drugs, or engaging in addictive behaviors, like gambling.
You’re worried about yourself, and/or others have expressed concern for your well-being.
You’re withdrawn and avoiding social interaction.
You don’t have family or friends to support you, or the people in your life can’t sustain the support you need over the course of a lengthy grieving process.
You’re suffering from unexplained illnesses.
You’ve experienced multiple losses in a short period of time.
You’re feeling bereavement guilt, possibly blaming yourself for your loved one’s death or grappling with regret about your relationship with the deceased.
You’re plagued with intrusive thoughts, such as reliving the circumstances of your loved one’s death.

Grief support is available in more ways than ever

You can now access grief support whenever and wherever — in person, online, even via text

Grief is a common human experience but mourning the death of a loved one can feel very isolating. Grief support groups try to bridge the gap by connecting you with others who are also mourning a loss. But not everyone feels comfortable sharing their emotions in front of others. That’s why finding the right format to receive grief support is as important as seeking it in the first place.

Finding the right grief support for you

Up until recent years, most grief support came in the format of local, in-person groups held in churches or community centers. Although those still exist, mourners now have more options available to assist with their emotional well-being. Let’s explore the range of options, starting with the conventional and ending with the modern methods.

In-person grief support groups

Support groups exist for almost every type of bereavement, from parents who’ve lost a child to survivors struggling with bereavement guilt. Choosing a support group that speaks directly to your experience can prove essential to your healing. No matter what your situation is, most likely a support group is available to meet your specific needs and help you negotiate the stages of grief.

Institutions involved in end-of-life care, such as hospitals, hospice providers, and funeral homes, often host bereavement groups for little or no cost or can recommend options in your area.

Many nonprofit organizations, such as Grief Share, also facilitate free support groups. Look for a group with a trained facilitator, and feel free to reach out to that person with questions before your first meeting.

If you’ve joined a group but don’t feel that it’s helping you move forward, try another, or consider different avenues of in-person support, like one-on-one grief counseling.

Helpful resources

Funeral expenses calculator

Funeral planning guide

Forms to complete when a person dies checklist

In-person grief support with a modern twist

The Dinner Party is an organization focused on fostering community among individuals experiencing significant loss for the first time. Affiliate groups, known as tables, gather in members’ homes for potluck meals and candid conversation.

Trained grief counselors don’t attend, so The Dinner Party should not be seen as a substitute for therapy. However, the program can introduce you to potential new friends who can relate to your grief and encourage you on your journey toward healing.

Groups meet in more than 100 cities around the world. If The Dinner Party hasn’t reached your community yet, the organization can help you establish a local table.

Grief support is a call away

Busy schedules and physical challenges can make attending an in-person group unfeasible. But with technology, you can access support anytime from home. If you’re in distress and need to speak to someone right away, the 988 Crisis Lifeline provides free, anonymous, and confidential support via their hotline, 24 hours a day by simply dialing 988.

Older adults and people with disabilities can access trained counselors on the 24-hour, toll-free Friendship Line, which is sponsored by the Institute on Aging in California. It is available nationwide and is the only accredited crisis line in the country for people aged 60 years and older and adults living with disabilities. Call 800-971-0016.

Grief support at your fingertips

If you’re not in crisis but would like to chat with a friendly volunteer, many organizations staff mental health warm lines to provide supportive conversation on a less urgent basis via phone and instant messages on the internet.

For those who prefer texting, the Crisis Text Line is a messaging service, where trained counselors are available to listen, empathize, and make mental health referrals whenever you need assistance.

Grief counseling by video

If you’d like to meet directly with a grief specialist in your home, video makes remote, one-on-one counseling with a psychologist or therapist possible. Psychology Today maintains a national database of credentialed professionals, including therapists who provide video counseling. The Virtual Therapist Network and Better Help exclusively list practitioners who work remotely. Use either database to identify counselors who accept your insurance, take sliding scale payments, or speak your language of choice.

More social online grief support

Other online sources of grief support and encouragement include social media, virtual groups, community message boards, and discussion forums. If you’re active on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, a search for #grief or #griefsupport will lead to recovery tips, inspirational quotes, and honest expressions of struggle, sadness, and hope from individuals.

You can simply read social media posts as an observer, or comment and share using your own name or a screen name. But remember, anything you post to social media should be considered public, regardless of your personal privacy setting.

Online message boards can be great places to ask a question and get feedback from multiple people, but they’re less technologically sophisticated and interactive than grief forums, which function more like a community.

Typically, forums allow you to read and comment on posts, share your own content, and exchange private and/or instant messages with other members through the host’s platform. Message board posts are almost always public but require you to register to contribute content. Some forums are public, while others have content visible to members only, but to participate fully in either format, registration is required. You’ll need to sign up with your own name, but you can choose a screen name to preserve your privacy, if you wish.

How to stay safe online

No matter what form of grief support you decide to try, trust your gut when it comes to safety. If a particular group, website, or individual makes you feel upset or uneasy, explore alternatives. Most importantly, practice caution online. Stick to secure websites that require registration and moderator approval to participate. Never share personal information online, including your full name, address, passwords, or any financial data.

Although many sites providing grief support are run by nonprofits and welcome donations, a reputable site will never require you to pay a fee. Be aware that con artists have been known to infiltrate grief groups, looking to prey on vulnerable people. Report any suspicious accounts or unusual activity to the moderator or website owner.